You hate to air family laundry, so to speak, but sometimes it is the best way to get it off your chest, especially when it involves your spouse that you have been married to for 43 years and has this disease called progressive supranuclear palsy. So, here goes.
August 5 of this year, as noted on Facebook with photos I added recently, we traveled to Asheville, Knoxville and Cherokee/Maggie Valley for our vacation. My oldest daughter Sandi did all the planning for this trip and I will always be indebted to her for helping me take care of Sandra during this excursion.
We had not been to Knoxville since her younger brother Howard had moved there approximately 15 years ago. So, Sandra was anxious to see her brother and his family and his new home.
Howard and Rhetta, his wife, knew that Sandra had anticipated seeing them and their new home. And knew also of her disease. Now, I don’t know if he has ever researched PSP to find out what she goes through or not, but I hope he has.
It is just so hard for me to comprehend how people can be so callous. Especially when it is your brother! I’m a Christian and I know you are supposed to forgive people of their shortcomings but sometimes it is just hard to do. I guess it is like the Bible says, we all fall short of the glory of God – maybe if her brother ever calls to apologize, then I can forgive him. But, I’m not holding my breath.
We had a van for the trip and we all were riding around and Howard was showing us the neighborhood he lived in and telling us all about the people that lived there – lawyers, doctors, etc – you get the picture. And those homes were large, to say the least. I didn’t really care about seeing his home or going inside but his sister Sandra, my wife, thought for sure that she would get to visit with her brother inside their home. Not to be.
Now Howard had told me earlier something about the rescue squad requiring a fee for the residents of this community and he had declined to pay it. But to me that doesn’t constitute a reason to treat your sister as he did.
As we were taking the tour, my wife asked her brother why we just rode by his house instead of getting out and going inside. Stone silence. She told him again that she had come to Knoxville – the first time since he had lived there – and wanted to see his house. By this time, Sandra was in TEARS but her brother refused to acknowledge her plea and his wife was sitting right beside me at the time. She was completely quiet.
I told Howard that we had plenty of people that could help her up the steps at his house and it wouldn’t be a problem. Also, she would only go to the first floor. But, nope, he wouldn’t budge! I was stunned that my wife’s own brother could be this cold-hearted as his sister was crying and upset. I mean, this will probably be the last time she gets to Knoxville to visit her brother. And, now, I know it will be the last time.
It really got to me that he could be this way with Sandra during her bout with this disease. Needless to say, the rest of the visit with Howard and his wife was not pleasant. We all headed to a mall, where I refused to speak to them the whole time we were there. And when we went back to the hotel, Sandra and I went to the bedroom and stayed there – they got the picture and left shortly thereafter.
It is now September 28 and Sandra has not heard from her brother to this day – no apology, no phone call, nothing. All I can say is I hope this plays on his conscience for a long time but then again, with cold-hearted people such as this, who knows.
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